Being a tarot reader, I get asked a lot of types of questions. Naturally, over time, I am going to develop some preferences. Certain questions make me very excited to do a reading. Others, however, make me want to ask the querent to change their question. Don’t get me wrong; I do my best to answer every question I get regardless of what it looks like. However, acknowledging my dislike of certain types of questions makes me extra careful I give them the same care and attention I do all my other readings.
So, why tell you? This certainly isn’t a callout, I assure you. You are more than welcome to ask me these types of questions. However, I thought you might appreciate the look into my perspective on certain questions.
“Should I…” Questions
Let’s start with a really simple sounding one: “should I…” questions. Tarot, like the future, is rarely black and white. Still, I’ll get people coming to me asking things like “Should I do X?” and that… that makes me nervous to answer. It always feels like a lopsided question. “Should” is very subjective. I’ve learned over time to ask for more information up front, trying to steer the client towards a better phrasing. Usually we can compromise on either a more balanced question, such as “should I do A or B,” or a more open ended one, such as “What should I know when approaching X.” These two queries are much easier to read for.
I know people love getting them, but I am not a fan of love readings. These readings are usually one person coming in with a concern about a relationship. Immediately this causes me problems. For some people, saying “yeah it doesn’t look like the relationship has a long future” would be a massive blow, while for others it would be a massive relief. I had to learn early on that these readings require a lot of communication up front in order to get a good picture of the relationship and it’s current situation.
If you are ever ordering one, I heavily suggest you give your reader a general overview of your relationship, such as how long you’ve been together, if you are married or not, and how things generally have been outside of the specific concern. If there are no specific concerns and you are just getting a love reading “for fun,” be sure to communicate that as well. You might think it is giving the reader too much information telling them what you suspect the reading might say, but with love readings? I want to know what you are expecting to hear specifically so I know how to phrase my results.
Asking about Another Person
Similarly, asking about other people is a very tricky sort of reading to do. Again, the question often (though not always) comes from a place of insecurity and desiring assurances. I can’t guarantee my cards will give the querent that assurance. On top of that, doing readings on people not present leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation and misunderstanding. I want to respect the privacy of the other person. What often happens with these sorts of questions is the deck will naturally turn the topic back to the querent, saying things like “you are asking because you need to process your emotions regarding X.” That’s a healthy answer to get, but not one many people like to hear. As such, I try to steer the querent from the start towards a more self-focused question, such as “what can I do about my worries regarding this person?” Let the cards focus on you; it’s so much easier that way.
Every reader has their preferences when it comes to doing readings. It’s a good idea to ask a reader if they feel comfortable doing a particular sort of reading before you sit down at their table. When in doubt, I always suggest focusing your topic around yourself and your concerns, asking what you can do about them, rather than focusing on others.